John Deacon wrote the lyrics to Queen’s, “You’re My Best Friend.” Freddie may have received the attention for his voice and long hair, but Veronica was in John’s mind as he wrote the words. This was the music of our day. That is, the days when Patty and I began dating. (1979)
When I think about the growing number of years we have shared, I often think of Eugene Peterson’s description of his own marital experience. Peterson offered his more than fifty years of marriage as a way to describe the inability to master the Scriptures as they reveal the God who “dwells in ineffable light.” He noted that after fifty years he knew his wife better than he knew her when they first married. He then added that after fifty years he did not know his wife any better than when they first married. Rather than view that as a criticism of his wife or a description of his lack of perceptivity, he used the analogy to refrain from making of his wife and object.
Human beings cannot be mastered by categories. Human beings are subjects too vast to objectify, though our culture finds this shallowness expressed at every turn.
John Deacon gave us another way to think about the breadth of two human subjects when he lyricized his “friendship” with his wife in, “You’re My Best Friend.” Not in the kitschy social media shorthand “BFF.” No, “You’re My Best Friend” in the sense that any attempt to narrow down the value you bring to my life and experience of being human fails to find an adequate series of descriptors. You are no object to love, but a subject to embrace.
Sunday we celebrated 29 years of friendship, best-friendship. Actually, we celebrated 33 years – 29 of them married. Our musical notation for 2012 is 29/33. So, though you won’t find her on Facebook and I have to cajole her to reading my musings – unless she has helped me edit – I offer her a music video to reflect on our years together.
And no, I never had hair quite as long as Freddie’s.